From the comfort of my bed this morning, I have been listening to a class lecture as part of my Mindfulness-Based Childbirth and Parenting Teacher Training Program offered by Nancy Bardacke and Mindfulbirthing.org.
While listening to Nancy speak, I noticed a connection between Mindfulness and Stoicism that I hadn't noticed before. Upon further reflection, I realised stoicism is undoubtedly a useful philosophy when applied to a person's mindfulness practice, life, or pregnancy journey.
For example, at around 33:00 in the three-hour class, the group discusses how thoughts about the past can generate emotions that impact the body on the physical plane.
Nancy notes that the more we practice mindfulness and bring awareness to this habit of looping back into the past, the more liberated we actually become. She continues:
"[The liberation arises from] seeing the potential for making a different choice about what you are doing with your mind. [versus] getting caught in these habits [of looping back to the past]. And, once you recognise that it's a habit, then there's a possibility of shifting."
When a woman in the group says, "I have always been like that," implying a fixed way of being, Nancy astutely responds:
"And the implication is 'I am always going to be like that.' Which is completely false! Not necessarily. So that's where change happens. In the moment we choose to do something else with our minds."
Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher wrote in Meditations (Book 8, Chapter 47), something that can be translated as:
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
In essence, he teaches that:
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” ~ Seneca
In today's blog post, I utilise my MA in Comparative Literature from King's College London by comparing Nancy Bardacke's mindfulness teachings with the philosophy of stoicism as practiced and taught by Marcus Aurelius. I think you will find this comparison provides another way of viewing mindfulness, one that might intrigue the more philosophical of my readers, as well as those that are currently walking the pregnancy path. I hope you enjoy reading the following as much as I enjoyed reflecting upon it.
Shall we begin?
Mind as the Source of Suffering and Liberation
Both Marcus Aurelius and Nancy Bardacke highlight the profound influence our thoughts have over our emotions, bodies, and overall well-being. Marcus Aurelius teaches that suffering stems from how we interpret external events, not the events themselves:
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it."
Similarly, Nancy Bardacke describes how revisiting thoughts about the past can stir emotions that manifest physically, affecting our present experience. In both philosophies, the mind becomes the source of our distress, but crucially, it is also the source of our potential liberation!
This perspective enhances a sense of hope, which I find inspiring. In the context of pregnancy, this resonates deeply. For example, fears about labor, anxieties over the baby’s health, or concerns about bodily changes can create significant mental and emotional distress in pregnant people and their partners. I also think that for pregnant people who have experienced trauma in childbirth or in life, this concept of liberation could become a lifeline. How wonderful is that?!
The Power of Awareness and Choice
Nancy emphasizes that mindfulness allows us to become aware of habitual thought patterns—such as fears about childbirth or worries about bodily changes—and once we notice them, we gain the power to choose a different response. As she puts it:
"Once you recognise that it's a habit, then there's a possibility of shifting."
For pregnant people, this means recognising when fear or worry becomes overwhelming and learning to respond with calm and self-compassion instead of anxiety. Marcus Aurelius similarly teaches this, as his Stoic philosophy centers on awareness and choice. He emphasizes the individual’s ability to change their reaction at any moment:
"You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
Pregnancy involves many uncontrollable events—bodily changes, medical appointments, and the unpredictability of childbirth. However, both Marcus and Nancy remind us that we can control how we react to these experiences.
By cultivating mindfulness, pregnant people can notice when their minds drift toward fear or discomfort and gently guide their thoughts back to a place of calm and acceptance. Both suggest that we always have the capacity to interrupt these cycles and choose a new, healthier path for our minds.
Challenging the Idea of a Fixed Self During Pregnancy
During the lecture, when a mother-to-be says, "I have always been like that," implying a fixed way of thinking or responding, Nancy responds by pointing out the false assumption that this pattern is unchangeable:
"And the implication is 'I am always going to be like that.' Which is completely false!"
This holds great significance for pregnancy. Many people may feel a fixed identity, thinking, “I’ve always been anxious,” or “I’m not strong enough for childbirth.” Nancy' Bardacke's insight reminds pregnant individuals that these patterns aren’t set in stone. Mindfulness offers the possibility for real change by recognising that thoughts and habits are not permanent, and that in any moment, they can choose to respond differently.
Marcus Aurelius shares this view, suggesting that self-limiting beliefs are just stories we tell ourselves. His philosophy—that the self is not defined by past habits but by the choices made in the present moment—aligns beautifully with the transformations inherent in pregnancy itself.
How lovely, right?
Reflection: Stoicism, Mindfulness, and Pregnancy
In essence, both Marcus Aurelius' Stoicism and Nancy Bardacke's mindfulness offer paths to freedom from mental suffering and valuable perspectives for managing the emotional challenges of pregnancy. Both invite us to take ownership of our thoughts and remind us that while the mind has the potential to create suffering, it also holds the power to liberate us.
Marcus Aurelius' Stoicism teaches us to detach from unhelpful interpretations and focus on the rational choices we can make in the present. External events, including the unpredictability of pregnancy and childbirth, are beyond our control. What we can control is how we interpret and respond to those events, and in that choice lies our strength and resilience.
Nancy's mindfulness offers pregnant people the opportunity to practice non-judgmental awareness of habitual thoughts, recognizing fears and anxieties, and allowing them to choose new responses that cultivate calm, presence, and self-compassion. This practice helps us avoid becoming trapped in the past or in automatic reactions.
Both approaches emphasize the power of the present moment and remind us that we are not victims of our past or our minds—we have the power, in each moment, to respond differently. For pregnant individuals, learning to stay grounded in the now, rather than being consumed by fears of the future or negative thought patterns, provides a profound way to reduce suffering and embrace the transformative journey of pregnancy. Whether through the Stoic discipline of choosing how we interpret events or through mindful awareness of each passing moment, expectant parents can find strength, resilience, and peace in this unique experience.
In short, liberation comes from recognising that we can always choose a new path for our minds.
Thanks for reading and reflecting with me. ~Ashley
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